Hi Rizky,

Sorry to hear that! Whenever I have played with you I find you to be a great partner – you are encouraging and are never negative!!

Perhaps it was just one of those days where you partner was not on their game and felt that it was their fault – hence any comment from you was not well received?

Don't stop the communication. I would probably have a word with your partner to clear things up. Trust me, I can be a right pain to play with and often say the wrong thing – but I don't believe this is the case here – you are a good player and a good partner.

John13

In more general terms commenting on a partners abilities during a game is always fraught with danger. As John eluded to, if the partner has, as we all have, an off day then your not going to be sure that comments are going to be received in the spirit they were given.

Having been guilty of it myself I can confirm a thin line between trying to support a partner through a bad patch and sounding condescending or patronising.

There is no easy answer as all partners are different. As a coach I learned very early on that not everyone appreciates tips on their game when they're not asked for and a lot of discretion is the order of the day. We have all had partners when, to put it mildly, a frank exchange of views is perfectly acceptable and others when no comment is the best policy.

My failing was saying “bad luck” when my partner had clearly hit an awful shot and I now see how annoying this would become.

John is right in that a conversation addressing a partners grievances is the most preferable line to take.